A Travel Agent's Experience With Politicians
I have been a Travel Agent for thirty
Years.
This is why we're in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
near the window.
* ********************
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to
go to Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport
information, then she interrupted me
with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts,"
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I
calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa,"
Her response
(click).
* ***************
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and
Florida is a
very thin state!"
* ******************
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it
possible to see
England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the map."
* ******************************
An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked
if he could
rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I
noticed he had only a 1-hour
layover in Dallas. When I asked him why
he wanted to rent a
car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between the gates to save
time."
* ************************
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
left at 8:20 a.m. and got into
Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan
was an hour ahead
of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept
of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she
bought that!
* ************************
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put
your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline,
they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I
think that is very
rude?"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked
into it' ( I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno,
CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.
* ************************
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package
to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would
it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the
train to Hawaii?"
* **********************
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman
who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
"I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes
have numbers on
them."
* **********************
A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant, fly to Pensacola, Florida on a
commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever!"
* **********************************
A senior Senator called and had a question about the
documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him that he
needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to
China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express!"
* **********************
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations,
"I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent
said, "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm
sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino
anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows
where it is.
Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered,"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
* **********************
Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's
in
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